“As I lay awake last night, worrying about what might go wrong, I recalled what you had often said to me: worry is a bad habit; it is a filler that we add in to cover up for fears, loss of control and guilt. Yet, I could not shake myself out of it. It became a spiraling downwards experience that quickly overtook my thoughts and overwhelmed me. I became, in the process, my own enemy.”
As I was listening to my client describe her experience, I understood her fears, and acknowledged her emotions, her place at that point in time.
“So how are these thoughts serving you?” I asked…
Thinking honestly about how our thoughts serve us can be a good compass for how we decide to feel. Thinking honestly about worries for the future, no matter what they are, really gives us a sense that we cannot control what will happen. We tend to become pessimistic, we let catastrophic scenarios filter through our mind, and as we enslave ourselves to these chaotic thoughts, we become more enmeshed with them, and less able to manage them, thus creating our own prophecy: loss of control. That, in turn, makes us feel guilty and angry.
So how do we stop the spiral? How do we become masters of our own thinking process, how do we position ourselves to dictate what we think, how we feel, and how we behave instead of letting our fears and worries drive us?
These questions have multiple answers, and can be approached from many angles.
The first step would be to recognize we’re on a slippery slope. We should ask ourselves: who is the boss of me?
Random, unproductive -probably exaggerated – thoughts, fears, worries? Or do we take over the thoughts, and reorganize them, de-clutter and clarify them so that we can regain a sense of control and direction? Negative, scary thoughts will not make you a happy positive person today. Thus, awareness is the first answer.
A professional coach can help you in your journey towards more peace and less worry.
More to follow soon…