When we become aware of thoughts or feelings that pull us back, that consume and distract us, we need to ask ourselves – or a great life or business coach can ask us:

• How is this thought or feeling serving me?
• How is it working for me?
• Do I achieve my objectives by holding onto the thought or feeling?
• Is it holding me hostage?
• Who will I be without this thought?
• Do I want to let it go?
• Am I afraid to live without it? What’s the fear about?
• What is the pull that keeps it in my head and heart?
• How can I replace this feeling?

These are not easy questions, and the answers will not come up automatically. They will unfold as a result of an exploratory process of self-discovery, awareness, openness and integrity. A life, business or executive coach will keep you accountable for answers and progress.

Clients often tell me: “I hate myself for feeling this way. I become angry and frustrated, and am stuck with these obsessive thoughts, I don’t know what to do”.

Yet often, being in that place is exactly what they seek. It is where they feel familiarity and comfort. There is nothing comfortable about it, yet it is the framework that they function in, the pain they most identify with. And they derive benefits.

We can decide what we think.

Believing that thoughts dictate feelings, we can choose what we think.

That is the beginning of transformation and empowerment.

More to follow soon…

Ella